Latest Posts

When I think of “grief”, I think of so many emotions swirled into one. Grief carries me in so many different directions. The most familiar one is a place of sadness. Then there is the depth of the sadness. It can be a tap on the shoulder or it can go deep. But grief has…

October 30, 2011 Dear One, I imagine that this will be the last Halloween we spend as mother and daughter in costumes.  Frankly, I was surprised that you were interested in making a costume with your mom considering you are in Middle School.  You wanted to be a ghost.  When I wondered whether I could…

I learned that this holiday started in India.  Here is a photo Maya in India in April 2014 surrounded by a sea of girls.  It was taken at the Binapani Ashram (residential girls school).  It was at that time that Maya’s vision was sparked to return to India to work with girls.   After reading and…

There was a time that I wondered, “is my identity forever going to be defined by our tragic loss?”  Here we are, over five years since Maya left us, and I am answering my own question.  Simply put, yes.  With time, my relationship to being the mom of our precious teenage daughter, Maya, who took…

There are some memories that are so vivid, that as I replay each second, it seems to stretch out.  Each moment lasts hours.  I can feel see facial expressions, hear tones, embrace conversations, and have a sense of the feelings as if I am living them today.  In a way, I am.  The imprints are…

There is something significant about today.  Yes, 2020 is a new decade for us all.  September 1, 2020 is Maya’s 20th birthday.  While I generally know how to express myself, it seems like there is a word I cannot put my finger on in the English language.  I am experiencing a paradox around time.  There…

“Say you’re sorry!”  These words echo inside of me as if it were yesterday.  They were words that my dad would yell at us, when my sisters and I would fight.  I trust that he had good intentions.  This is the best that he could do with teaching us about conflict resolution.  If I knew…

I remember giving birth to each of my children.  The immediate, intense love was like that of no other.  This love was an incredible force that surged through my entire being.  As new as these babies were, it was if I had known them forever.  What a precious moment; I wanted to freeze time.  At…

It’s Maya’s 18th birthday today.  It is a big one. I am sitting in the room, where Maya was born.  I remember the feeling, waking up that morning that, “today is the day.”  Five hours later, she was in our arms. Some say, “how fortunate; you were blessed with such a quick labor!” I would…

Maya was truly blessed to have several families.  Aside from our family, she had strong connections in different circles.  One of the most impressive and supportive ones was that of the Rowe Camp.  At this moment, many of Maya’s peers are at camp, at “Senior High Camp,” for three weeks.  Yes, even though they are…