A boy or a man? | Maya's Gifts

A boy or a man?


September 2004.

Dinner conversation…

Maya:                  When I grow up, am I going to be a boy or a man?

Mommy:              No, Maya, you’ll probably be a woman.

Maya:                  Pwobably?

Mommy:              Yes.  You’ll grow up to be a woman.  Girls do grow up to be women.  But some people choose to change that.

Dad:                    (eyes roll)


Adin:                   Yeah, like those people in Provincetown.  They seemed like they were men, but they have long hair and breasts (stood up, wiggled, using hand and arm motions)

Mommy:              And some women can make changes too.

Maya:                  Will I have breasts like this (cupping hands in air over her chest) when I gwow up?

Mommy:              Yes.  Do you think you’re going to have babies?

Maya:                  Uhhh,…yes!

Mommy:              If you have babies, your breasts will get even bigger to fill up with milk for the babies.

Maya:                  Will I have a penis?

Mommy:              …

Dad:                    Don’t even go there.  Can you please pass the salad?

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(Here’s Maya with my parents, “Grammy and Pop”, aka Irv and Nina.)


  • Thank you, Elise. Provincetown ….second to last time I saw Maya. She and Matthew were just coming out of a movie that they had both enjoyed. They were smiling ear to ear. It was thrilling for me to run into them there. Love.

  • Elise, I did get a good chuckle from that conversation. These pictures portray Maya’s exquisite beauty. ❤️

    • Lynn,
      So glad to know this. I remember chuckling then, and yes, I still get a laugh from this now! I can just hear Mathew saying, “don’t even go there!”

  • Ever so adorable… and heady. Love the pics of Maya with Mom and Dad. A real “antidepressant” for mom, a playmate for dad.

  • I never got the chance to ask about Maya’s explorations about male/female identities, although observed some, and here they are. Another aspect of her adventure, her curiosity, her honesty, and your finess at addressing Maya’s inquisitions. I can picture it all, including Mathew’s input.

    • Claire, yes. This is a good snapshot. For that moment, anyway. Maya had many explorations. I hope to share more as we go on.

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