Shifts | Maya's Gifts



January 23, 2013

Dearest Maya,

Something is shifting inside of you.  You have decided to let your hair grow out. You bought (fake) Uggs and they just didn’t work with the pants you normally wear.


I offered to buy you skinny jeans and you agreed.  In fact, I bought a second pair for you and you were very happy.  You said that you even wanted more.  And most recently, you asked about padded bras (not to make you look bigger, just for support).  We will go shopping soon.



February 23, 2013

Dear Maya,

Well, we went shopping indeed.  We didn’t get more bras as mentioned in my last entry.  But we got a stack of camis and quite an assortment of shirts and pants that are completely changing your image.


Some of the styles are very form fitting with bright colors.  Others are looser, but have a very nice, flowing quality to their fabric.  None are frilly with sparkles, hearts or pink.  But they all have a certain stamp of “Maya as a beautiful, developing teenage girl.”  And that you are!  You are finding and defining a new you.  For me, it is exciting to witness and support.  It is also clear that while you are finding a way to express yourself through your clothes, you don’t want to just become one of the pack.  I respect that you care very much about being true to yourself.

Other noteworthy aspects of your life:

  • You babysit often for our neighbors
  • You save every penny you earn in your bank account
  • You are a very serious student with a 98 GPA
  • You were a bit sick this week and you did not want to miss school.
  • It wasn’t that you wanted to go, you shared that you “NEEDED” to go
  • You are so excited about the Periodic Table of Elements
  • You read incessantly
  • You enjoy sit com TV series, often inappropriate with many scenes in the bedroom
  • You’ve plastered your bedroom walls with posters
  • You have a close (and sometimes rather annoying) relationship with dad
  • You made me a BEAUTIFUL gift for my 55th It’s an embroidery of Ganesh




Photos from January through March, 2013.  With baby Rio, with Sophie, hanging out in Maya’s hammock in her bedroom, with Adin and her cousin, Nikki, at an awards ceremony at the Middle School and, the last two are obvious



  • Oh, Elise. To be honest, I am so impressed by the fact that you are able to get up every day and live your life as you do. You are strong. What a tremendous loss. I didn’t know Maya but I am grateful to you for sharing her with me, with us. She was such a lovely person. I don’t believe that we are snuffed out when we die although of course I don’t know what happens to us in that next stage – what we become, where we go… But I feel confident that Maya’s lovely spirit still exists and is probably even more luminous and full of joy and life than it was possible to be when she was here on earth with you. That said, I’m sure you’d rather just be able to give her a good, long hug. So I will send you one via cyberspace. Love, E

    • Eve, there is so much here. I will likely “reply” to much of what you shared, over the course of time in the form of many entries on this blog. Thank you.

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