{"id":924,"date":"2016-09-10T16:34:16","date_gmt":"2016-09-10T20:34:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=924"},"modified":"2016-09-10T16:34:16","modified_gmt":"2016-09-10T20:34:16","slug":"you-matter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=924","title":{"rendered":"YOU MATTER!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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August 16, 2015<\/p>\n

Dear Maya,<\/p>\n

According to the Hebrew calendar, it is your birthday, as you were born on the first day of Elul.\u00a0 You were born with a new moon, which always marks the beginning of a new month.\u00a0 Elul (I am learning), is the month before the New Year.\u00a0 It is a time to love, both within and all around.\u00a0 What an auspicious day.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not surprised as you are a very auspicious person.<\/p>\n

As I write, you are sleeping during the mid-morning hours, in your tent, here at the North of Highland Campground.\u00a0 I learn more and more about you all the time. Yesterday, while at the bay, after taking a dip and being there for a short while, you proclaimed that you do not like the beach.\u00a0 You like being in the water, but you do not like to hang out there.\u00a0 You asked to bike ride on your own back to the campsite and we agreed.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s true or not.\u00a0 Is it really that you don\u2019t like the beach?\u00a0 Or is it that you are having a hard time in general and would rather be in a quiet place under the safety of the home we created here, by the big, beautiful white tarp, reading or listening to music in the hammock?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 But it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Maya, you have always known when you need to take space for yourself.\u00a0 I could give you dozens of examples here that date back to early childhood, but I\u2019d rather talk about something else that came up.<\/p>\n

\"dscn3581\"<\/a><\/p>\n

From where I sit, you have been in a funk.\u00a0 You have been spending most of your time alone, and when asked a question, we hear just a one-word response. \u00a0While this may not be too unusual, what I\u2019ve also noticed is that your inner light is not shining so brightly.\u00a0 It\u2019s been dimmer and dimmer.<\/p>\n

A couple of days ago, you asked me, \u201cmom, what do you think of me going to therapy?\u201d\u00a0 I responded that it\u2019s not just you, but I think that therapy is good for anyone who is interested in working on themselves.\u00a0 A good therapist can be supportive and help a person explore from an objective position.\u00a0 You said that you wanted therapy and I let you know, when we return, I\u2019ll line it up for you.\u00a0 What I didn\u2019t tell you, but I\u2019m letting you know now, that I think that it\u2019s great that you asked for this.<\/p>\n

\"dscn3582\"<\/a><\/p>\n

At a similar time, you mentioned a feeling that you might have a UTI. \u00a0You had one right before Rowe, for which you took an antibiotic.\u00a0 You asked that we get cranberry juice and we did.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t heard anything about this since.\u00a0 I asked yesterday how you were doing with it and just heard, \u201cfine.\u201d\u00a0 I suggested we go to the doctor here and though you said we didn\u2019t need to, you said, \u201cokay.\u201d<\/p>\n

The nurse practitioner explained that normally, when the sample is looked at, if one is positive, then it takes a minute for the specimen to turn pink.\u00a0 Yours turned bright fuchsia in three seconds.\u00a0 You have a serious urinary tract infection.\u00a0 With the nurse practitioner, we discussed causes and treatments.\u00a0 But later I spoke with you personally.\u00a0 This was my message to you:<\/p>\n

YOU MATTER!!!\u00a0 Though you are likely not feeling too good about yourself and have the sense of \u201cit\u2019s not that bad\u201d, or \u201cI don\u2019t want to inconvenience anyone\u201d, or \u201cI am not worth it\u201d, YOU MATTER!!!\u00a0\u00a0 You should not walk around feeling even a little sick.\u00a0 And if you feel that you don\u2019t matter to you, I assured you that you definitely matter to me!<\/p>\n

\"dscn3591\"<\/a><\/p>\n

A little foot note here- I told you in the doctor\u2019s parking lot that I wanted to talk with you.\u00a0 I asked you where this should be.\u00a0 In a special spot in P-Town?\u00a0 At the campsite?\u00a0 You said we should talk at the campsite.\u00a0 During our car ride back, you were thinking that I was going to talk with you about your moodiness.\u00a0 You mentioned this to me after the, \u201cYOU MATTER!!!\u201d talk.\u00a0 Well that helped me segue into words that I wanted to express.\u00a0 Even if you are in a bad mood, or behave in a way to intentionally push me away, it won\u2019t work.\u00a0 I will still be here for you because no matter what, you matter to me!<\/p>\n

At this, you mentioned that at times, you need your space.\u00a0 I certainly understand this, but we\u2019ll have to find other ways to express this.<\/p>\n

Enough said for now.\u00a0 We\u2019re on vacation in a beautiful place.\u00a0 A place that is forever changing, but feels familiar at the same time.\u00a0 I have hope.<\/p>\n