{"id":263,"date":"2016-01-15T20:24:38","date_gmt":"2016-01-16T01:24:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=263"},"modified":"2016-01-15T20:24:38","modified_gmt":"2016-01-16T01:24:38","slug":"how-are-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=263","title":{"rendered":"How are you?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_5046\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Three simple words that hold such good intention. But they can also put me in a state; one that causes great anxiety and sadness.<\/p>\n

Honestly, I wonder how I am even here. It is hard to believe that I am functioning; but I am.\u00a0 When Maya died, I wondered, \u201cHow can I go on?\u201d\u00a0 I still wonder. \u00a0I am constantly wondering.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you\u201d is such a trigger. If I happen to be functioning in that moment (for instance, standing on line at a local store), these three words, can lead me to fall apart.\u00a0 I check in with myself and am reminded again, that the world as I knew it and lived it, was pulled out from under me.\u00a0 I\u2019m living from moment to moment knowing that I will never see our precious daughter again.\u00a0 I am doing all I can to stand on this line.\u00a0 How am I?<\/p>\n

Do I tell the questioners the truth? Do I share my feelings about how I really am?\u00a0 Do they really want to know?\u00a0 Is it that they want to be assured that I am fine?\u00a0 That it is possible to lose a loved one to suicide and then go shopping?\u00a0 Do I let them know that this simple question, though filled with caring and good intention, is not really a good one to ask?\u00a0 Do I ignore the question, or simply leave the store?<\/p>\n

Let me share some ideas with you, in case you bump into me:<\/p>\n