{"id":809,"date":"2016-07-03T11:11:46","date_gmt":"2016-07-03T15:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=809"},"modified":"2016-07-03T09:32:10","modified_gmt":"2016-07-03T13:32:10","slug":"words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=809","title":{"rendered":"Words"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"width: 640px;\" class=\"wp-video\"><video class=\"wp-video-shortcode\" id=\"video-809-1\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" preload=\"metadata\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"video\/mp4\" src=\"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/mtlaurels.mp4?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/mtlaurels.mp4\">http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/mtlaurels.mp4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n<p>None of us were given a script.\u00a0 I\u2019m new in this role.\u00a0 While I\u2019m figuring it out, each day it changes.\u00a0 I change.\u00a0 How is one \u201csupposed to be?\u201d\u00a0 Day by day, moment by moment.\u00a0 My sense is that the same holds for you.\u00a0 I know you may be experiencing your own grief.\u00a0 You are also holding me.\u00a0 How are you supposed to be as you hold me?\u00a0 We are all learning our way.<\/p>\n<p>I have always been sensitive to words.\u00a0 Words can carry so much.\u00a0 What has been startling to me, is that certain words have been confusing to me.\u00a0 You may have noticed me questioning some people in their blog comments, \u201cwhat do you mean?\u201d, as I feel that I can interpret things differently than intended.\u00a0 I\u2019ll share a few words that make me wonder.<\/p>\n<p>Healing- a friend suggested that he thought I was \u201chealing\u201d well.\u00a0 To me, the \u201chealing\u201d connotes that one gets better.\u00a0 I question if I\u2019ll ever get better having experienced losing Maya.<\/p>\n<p>Bittersweet- I\u2019ve heard this word repeatedly, as people talk of the work we\u2019re doing.\u00a0 I trust their intention, yet for me, there\u2019s nothing sweet about what we\u2019ve experienced.<\/p>\n<p>Getting through- similar to \u201chealing\u201d, I feel as if \u201cI\u2019m in it\u201d and will be for life.\u00a0 Getting through to me infers, getting through to the other side.<\/p>\n<p>Suicide- This word has such charge for me.\u00a0 I rarely use it when referring to Maya\u2019s death.\u00a0 I likely need to do personal work here.\u00a0 My choice of words is that she \u201ctook her life\u201d.\u00a0 Again, that\u2019s my stuff.<\/p>\n<p>Commit- A relatively new friend shared his experience with me.\u00a0 Years ago, he had tried to take his life and put the word \u201ccommit\u201d in an interesting context.\u00a0 He said, \u201cthe only thing that is committed is if one still lives, then s\/he gets \u2018committed\u2019 to a mental hospital.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There are more, but I\u2019ll stop for now.\u00a0 What I have loved is that we can talk.\u00a0 If what you say makes me curious, I will question.\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d \u00a0If it doesn&#8217;t sound or feel right to me, I hope that I can\u00a0kindly\u00a0let you know in a way that you can hear me. \u00a0What I do not want is for people to tip-toe around, being afraid to say the wrong thing.<\/p>\n<p>I remember recently, I teared up when someone was talking with me.\u00a0 They felt awful, as if they should not have said what they said.\u00a0 Tears are good.\u00a0 So is feeling, dialogue and questioning.\u00a0 My sense is that through lovingly communicating and being in this uncharted territory together, we can make positive change in the world.\u00a0 Please join me.<\/p>\n<p><em>Video clip from a walk in the woods last week&#8230;just because.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>None of us were given a script.\u00a0 I\u2019m new in this role.\u00a0 While I\u2019m figuring it out, each day it changes.\u00a0 I change.\u00a0 How is one \u201csupposed to be?\u201d\u00a0 Day by day, moment by moment.\u00a0 My sense is that the same holds for you.\u00a0 I know you may be experiencing your own grief.\u00a0 You are&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gifts-since"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s720L0-words","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=809"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":827,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions\/827"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}