{"id":888,"date":"2016-08-29T11:11:21","date_gmt":"2016-08-29T15:11:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=888"},"modified":"2016-08-29T09:07:12","modified_gmt":"2016-08-29T13:07:12","slug":"dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/?p=888","title":{"rendered":"Dates"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-887\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg?resize=359%2C239\" alt=\"IMG_1553\" width=\"359\" height=\"239\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg?resize=768%2C511&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg?resize=1024%2C681&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/IMG_1553.jpg?w=1936&amp;ssl=1 1936w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 359px) 100vw, 359px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>When it came to celebrations, like Mother\u2019s Day, our mom used to say, \u201cthe date really doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It is likely a date that Hallmark created to help with their profits.\u201d\u00a0 I wonder if she held those sentiments to protect herself from possible disappointments.\u00a0 There is a part of me that wishes the dates don\u2019t matter.\u00a0 But as the calendar unfolds, it is clear that there are many moments in time that carry special significance, or a heavy weight.\u00a0 Two are coming up.\u00a0 Maya\u2019s birthday is September 1<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 She took her life on October 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 I am charged in a different way as we approach these dates.\u00a0 The hollowness inside feels unbearable at times.<\/p>\n<p>In part, shock has protected me.\u00a0 I am grateful, that aside from the trauma and deep grief that I\u2019ve experienced during these last eleven months, shock has served as a buffer.\u00a0 As time goes on, the shock is thinning and a different sort of reality is coming to the surface.\u00a0 This is not to say that I\u2019ve been in denial.\u00a0 But I am absorbing the experience of living without Maya here, on a profound level.\u00a0 I have no idea what will be.\u00a0 I am doing what I can to protect myself without the natural armor of shock.\u00a0 As always, taking it day by day, moment by moment.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 I know that you are there.\u00a0 I have gratitude as you are with me during these times.<\/p>\n<p><em>Hay-hopping in Columbia County in August, 2007<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it came to celebrations, like Mother\u2019s Day, our mom used to say, \u201cthe date really doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It is likely a date that Hallmark created to help with their profits.\u201d\u00a0 I wonder if she held those sentiments to protect herself from possible disappointments.\u00a0 There is a part of me that wishes the dates don\u2019t&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gifts-since"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s720L0-dates","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=888"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":890,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/888\/revisions\/890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayasgifts.elisegold.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}