Yizkor
This morning, I attended my first Yizkor Service since Maya’s passing. It is a time to be together with others who are remembering a loved one. Prayers were offered, songs sung, poetry read, and those who wanted to share personal memories, or anything at all, did.
I grappled with the term, “remember”, as Maya is very much with me, always. Rabbi Jonathan shared that, “one way to look at ‘remember’ is to ‘put back together.’ It is the opposite of ‘dismember.’ So when we remember, we are reassembling the memory, which then becomes present and very real in our experience.” This rings so true for me. I am constantly present with my experience of Maya, then and now. She is not here in her body, but those memories, those life experiences, that deep love, will always be with me.
And because of this, Maya is a part of me. I carry her, as so many of us do. At the closing of this service, Rabbi Jonathan invited us to share. “What quality of the person you are remembering would you want to bring into the world?” Along with some tears, for that moment, I shared, “to live life fully, with joy.”
Photos of Maya from ages 1, 10 and 11.
And she did. Through your poignant stories and magnificent photographs, we can all see how fully and joyfully Maya lived her life and how you and Mathew provided endless opportunities for her to do just that….. Maya started as a part of you, and that connection will never end.
XO Jody
xox. Elise
Beautiful, Elise. The heart makes memories real, spins them into bittersweet substance. Your words make that palpable for us.
How many of us carry those who precede us, those who follow. Your burden seems heavier than most – much heavier – but also more palpable.
It’s interesting that yizkor is held at the end of the traditional pilgrimage festivals (including Shavuot, on the occasion of the first barley harvest). You are certainly on a pilgrimage, traveling on foot far across unknown lands. All the pilgrimages led to the Temple, where offerings and sacrifices were made. To me that is like traveling to the heart of the world.
Where is Maya leading you, woven as she is into your every waking moment?
As it is said, may her soul be bound up in the bond of life, along with our forefathers and foremothers, through the deeds she inspires in you.
That’s a fancy way of saying “keep on truckin’ “. You’re doing great.
Thank you for all of your sensitive insights and deep questions. I think that we “are all truckin'” together.
Thank you, Elise. It is a gift to participate in your memories of and remembering of Maya. The other day I woke up from a dream about her: I don’t in fact remember much, just a vague sense of her quiet presence, standing upright with her long beautiful wavy hair.
Thank you for the MGF enewsletter which was a ray of hope in the midst of the tragic news from Orlando. I am so grateful for what you all are doing.
Much Love, Sarah
I love hearing of your dream, Sarah. It’s been comforting to hear from others as well. Thank you for your feedback on the newsletter and our work. For others, if you have not seen it, here is a link:
http://us12.campaign-archive1.com/?u=e593c9728f969936d7dd29d0a&id=e9d38e1351&e=8530954ab2
I am feeling you…
Love,love,love
Maya ! “Angel in heaven.” You always will be be in my heart.