Omega

When a deep tragedy hits, coupled with trauma, time freezes.  At times, it feels impossible to think of the next day, not to mention week or month.  I recall noticing how in mid-November, I was finally able to start thinking of plans for Thanksgiving.  It was actually remarkable to me.

This has been a new rhythm of life for Mathew and me in particular.  We have always been, “ever the planners”, with vacations lined up (often including reservations), over a year in advance.  But life has taken a very different pace of late.  Plans are often suggested with a caveat of “we may change our minds”.  We never make reservations without a lenient cancellation policy.

In January, I applied for a grant on behalf of the Maya Gold Foundation.  Each year the Omega Institute of Holistic Studies offers an opportunity in which they gift nonprofits to take retreat on their magical grounds.  It’s called, “Service Week”, and if awarded, the Board of Directors, staff, volunteers and other stakeholders from nonprofits have a chance to be with one another in a different way than the typical day to day of running an organization.  It’s a gift, as all expenses are paid.

What was I thinking?  The Board of Directors of the Maya Gold Foundation had not even met, yet the deadline to apply was February 1^st.  And again, what was I thinking?  Omega has been a home to me and Maya.  Together, we retreated there, first as participants and then as assistants for five long weekends over the past two and a half years.  We were living “Mothering/ Daughtering”.  The time there together was indeed treasured.  While there, we didn’t have the other stresses of life to cope with.  We were fed on different levels, did adventuring and explored creativity, laughs, depth and honesty with one another.

In mid-February, we found out that our organization was one of sixteen to be awarded a grant to spend three days on the beautiful campus.  Though Mathew and I created a mission for the organization and we thought we had a clear sense of direction, I knew that it was the entire Board of Directors and guests that needed to be a part of creating the Strategic Plan.  What is the purpose behind our mission?  What are the core values that we stand by?  What are generative questions that will help us move forward?  Where do we want to be in twenty years?  Ten?  Next year?

My time at Omega was so mixed.  It’s like all of life for me right now.  It was just another metaphor.  Walking on the paths, through the gardens, peaceful moments at the sanctuary, relaxing by the lake, schmoozing at the café and enjoying meals on the porch of the dining room all held such profound memories.  And everything has changed.  Same footsteps, different journey,

I had the foresight to request that I didn’t stay in the same cabin as I use to with Maya.  And I was relieved that our work space was on a different end of campus than the past.  But the air that I breathed there was the same.  The purpose of my trips with Maya to Omega in the past had been for Maya (and me), this trip of Strategic Planning for the Maya Gold Foundation was because of Maya.

Perhaps my most challenging moment was the one in which one of the facilitators suggested that for a moment, we close our eyes and make a wish.  Of course, she was talking about a wish for the foundation.  But I immediately went to the wish that I really didn’t need to be there at all.  That Maya was here.  That our culture supports youth through a very challenging time in their lives.  That we don’t need to do this work.  After some breathing and actually pushing through (something I don’t always do), I brought myself back to the reality of working at Omega on our Strategic Plan.

Doing this work was hard and intense.  With the guidance of extraordinary facilitators (Sunny and Sandy) and the loving wisdom of our board and guests, we co-created a magnificent Strategic Plan.  Our vision is big.  For someone who had a hard time thinking about planning a holiday that is coming next week, it seems surreal to think about where the foundation will be in ten or twenty years!  And my life’s metaphor continues.  This experience, this planning process holds it all.  Sadness, anger, collaboration, great anticipation, vision, support, creativity, joy, hope and love.

Sincere gratitude to Omega, Sunny, Sandy, our incredible Board Members, guests, and Maya.  Maya, oh, how I love you.  Always.