The tale of the miniature weeping cherry tree, or there are no coincidences

When our sister, Stephie died, she was 11 years old.  My parents wanted to do something special by her grave site.  I was not involved in the process as I was only 14 years old, but I learned that they were told that Mount Hebron Cemetery in Queens, had a moratorium.  It was too crowded; there was no room for any more trees or shrubs.  Somehow, after reconsideration (and I imagine encouragement from my parents and their support team), the administration agreed on a miniature tree.  They chose a miniature weeping cherry tree which was purchased from a local nursery.  Over time, we all discovered that this “miniature” tree was not a miniature at all.  It grew over two stories high!  The tree was magnificent.  When I’d visit my parents on Mother’s Day, I’d swing by and clip a few sprigs bursting with cherry blossoms in all their glory.  It truly was a gorgeous tree.

About ten years ago, we received a call from the cemetery administration.  They said that the tree had to come down.  Given how the roots took over, when someone else in our family passed, (namely my mom or dad), they would not be able to be buried there.  My mom expressed that this would not happen.  So long as she was alive, that tree was not coming down!  That tree brought so much beauty, and we could also say that in a way, Stephie had been and was a part of that tree.

I knew, that given the sentimentality, two things needed to occur:

• We needed to negotiate with the cemetery. The tree would come down in time for the next burial there, but not sooner.
• We needed to make arrangements with a local tree service. When the tree came down, we wanted a good amount of the wood.  We’d like to use it for something(s) special for our families.  This would be in Stephie’s honor, her memory.  And in some way, it’d hold my mom there, too.

Mission accomplished.  The cemetery agreed to wait.  And I found a local tree service who would in a moment’s notice cut the tree and not chip and cart off all of the wood.  The time came.  In August 2013, when mom was on her death bed, I made the call.  The tree service came and did the deed.  When we arrived within a day to the cemetery to bury our mom, there was a neat pile of the trunk and some chunks of fresh cherry tree branches waiting for us.

Fast forward to this summer.  I reached out to some friends requesting that they take the lead on doing something for a memorial for Maya.  It wasn’t just for us.  I felt that it was important for the community to mark this anniversary.  I have been so involved in so much of late.  I did not want to organize this.  I was extremely grateful that my friend, Linda stepped forward.  She had many ideas and polled around, putting out feelers about which would work.  Linda also rallied some other friends to help.  It was important to me that Maya’s friends have some involvement, or at least the option of participating in some way.  Every step of the way, Linda opened the door for me to be involved.  She sensitively ran ideas by me, and every step of the way, I told her, “though my impulse is to  jump in, I really need to surrender.  Whatever you and others choose is perfect.  Go for it, whatever ‘it’ is”.  Plans have been getting refined.  Linda has met with the Board of Trustees of the Village of New Paltz.  She proposed planting something, perhaps a tree, at the Peace Park.  With support, she had several conversations with the gardener, a master gardener who is in charge of the gardens at the Peace Park.  There was one little conversation that I actually had with Linda; at that time, there was talk of several options including a dogwood.  I loved the idea, as there are two dogwoods at our home, one outside each of Maya’s bedroom windows.

But then just the other day an email came.  It expressed, “I have gotten word back from [the Peace Park gardener] and the Village DPW that a weeping cherry tree in the inner circle of Peace Park (known as the Friendship Garden) would work for them.  I want to get back to them to confirm. I have to speak with her but I think she probably is thinking of one that is a small Japanese cherry– lots of blossoms in the spring.  How does that sound to you?”

At that, you can imagine my smile!  I even laughed.  And I could imagine my sister, my daughter, and my mom all chuckling, too.

Top photos are of Jody, Stephie, my mom, Nina and me.

Bottom photo is a piece that Mathew made from the wood of the “miniature” cherry tree.