Archives

This morning, I attended my first Yizkor Service since Maya’s passing.  It is a time to be together with others who are remembering a loved one.  Prayers were offered, songs sung, poetry read, and those who wanted to share personal memories, or anything at all, did. I grappled with the term, “remember”, as Maya is…

When a deep tragedy hits, coupled with trauma, time freezes.  At times, it feels impossible to think of the next day, not to mention week or month.  I recall noticing how in mid-November, I was finally able to start thinking of plans for Thanksgiving.  It was actually remarkable to me. This has been a new…

“It’s going to be alright.  Everything is going to be okay.”  Those words were the anchor of my life.  I used to joke that my glass was not half full.  It was three quarters full.  In my family of origin, we had a pessimist and a realist.  I was the optimist.  Always. Perhaps when reading…

Soon after I started this blog, I had to check in with myself.  I knew it was a bold step to be so public in sharing both stories from Maya’s life, and also my process.  I told myself that I would only post if in some way or another, sharing “fed” me.  I didn’t want…

With each choice, I have a finger on my pulse.  Which decision is better for me at this moment?  I have been pretty in tune with what works for me and what does not.  What might trigger the current and pull me under a wave?  I never really can tell.  And sometimes, I just have…

None of us here in life were given a script.  We’re all just figuring it out, trying to do the best we can.  It’s always been that way.  But since Maya took her life, my awareness of how to live has been heightened.  Part of this awareness for me, has to do with survival and…

The cherry blossoms on our tree opened today.  Typically, this is a joyful day.  I’ve been determined to keep joy in my life.  I have pushed myself to engage in activities that I love.  I go to dance class, which feeds me on many levels, surround myself with beauty while taking hikes, get my hands…

I’ve been learning to say, “yes” in a way that I have never done before. At first, it was “yes” to meals. We actually did not prepare one dinner for over three months. If we did not say that it was time to stop receiving food, there’s a chance that we’d still be eating delicious…

Doundounba; a dance I’ve always resisted.  At this evening’s dance class, we did Doundounba.  Pam, our gifted dance teacher reminded us that it is a dance from the Mande people of Guinee.  It’s a dance traditionally done by men and it’s a dance of great strength.  I also remember that if there’s a celebration, Doundounba…

Peepers.  They mark the passage of time for me.  We haven’t had a real winter this year.  And though spring has not officially hit, the sound of the peepers has always been a big landmark. I did smile inside and out when I heard them today. Now, this bit about time; it is so elusive. …